My husband was diagnosed in late 1999. He was about 256lbs. He's 38yrs old now. He was taking the pill for a little while and testing, then decided the pill was making him gain weight and his sugar leveled out, so he stopped. Over the last year he's lost about 60 lbs by just drinking 64+ ounces of water a day, which I find suspicious since he hadn't changed his diet much. He hasn't seen the doctor. He's been "controlling" his sugar by eating what he wants and following it with water. Since the weightloss, his symptoms now include sore/sensitive feet. I see he's beginning to eat more, having trouble in the bathroom, and it appears as if he's starting to have trouble in the bedroom as well (sorry for the TMI). I feel so bad for him but he won't take this serious and just tells me his count was ok, which means it was higher than it should be and I know his prolonged high sugar can't be good. How do I convince him to go to the doctor? He's so against taking any medications. He feels he can fight this on his own. I think he's got his head in the sand.

Any advice for a very concerned spouse? Thank you.

before he abscess I was like too. Jimmy, my husband tried toell me that I was drinking like a *(^*%&^$ diabetic. The expletives came after months of telling me this.
It took an abscess and some fun under anesthesia for me to find out that I was a diabetic. After we found out regardless if I had medication or not, I never made that decision not to take my meds but I lost my insurance so I couldot afford my mnedication fr 6 months. So basically I had the same effect as your husband without teh concious decision.
What he did was sneaky but really great.....
First he refused to bring anything that was harmful just from his understanding into the house. So no chips, no pasta, except for anything that was in a high amount of proteins. Then he started cooking and making portions.
So when it came time for dinner there was no help yourself. Theer was also no leftovers for second helpings.

So lets say you remember what his diabetic diet was , just start making portioned meals and timed meals. That way he has some outside control and you are helping him without him really noticing it.
Contact his doctor PRONTO. Let his doctor know what has happened and make an appointment for a day off.

The neuropathy is the first sign he is in the very high range. He is already producing Ketones. And that will eventually make him have mood swings and eventually become so sleepy he cant stand up. It may take a diabetic coma to wake him up.

Theer is always an underlying cause as to why they choose to off their medications.
Often people feel burdened and actually this is due to the lack of understanding of what they can eat and cant eat.
If you and him have never been to a diabetes managment class then you and him have both missed out on the new information. Thast why I push so hard for epopel to understand that its no different than ahving colored eyes or gray hair or pudgy fingers.

We can eat and do EVERYTHING.. we just have to be careful of how much of that chcolate cake, ice cream,pudding, pancakes,corn on the cob,potatoes, cheese, pizza, burger king, redvines.. DOTS, Reeses....steak, chciken, fried fish... e can ice skate, ski, bowl, hike, climb,swim,climb monkey bars.
Now something that you also have to realize is down time is very important. So making sure that he has and does what he enjoys is very important. So if he wants to skip a day of work and do something. consider it a positive thing bcause he can then refocus.
if you wnat to discuss this and get a new perspective email me and let me know... that way I can also send you my ebook or I can have it printed and shipped to you

Julia

try to get him to a doctor - or possibly to some sort of local support group so that he can see that you can still have a great life. Maybe contact the local hospital and see if they have some sort of contact system you can chat with... but definitely talk to his doctor, pronto! The water is NOT going to take care of everything!

You do know he is not going to go willingly.. Local support groups are also going to be a task...
they are good, but he is ultimately the one who will have to decide..
be patient an not argumentative...

Sometimes it works to make sure the other person knows that we're not trying to "control their life" or make decisions for them... rather we just want to KEEP them in our life, so their health is important to us. It doesn't always work, but maybe worth the try?

Thank you all for your suggestions. Julia, I'd already planned on keeping the bad stuff out of the house and prepare better meals with him in mind. Besides, the kids need to eat healthier anyway. I’m getting myself back to the gym to lead by example since I can only be proactive right now.

His lack of handling this has kept me up at night, so I voiced some of my concerns with my husband and asked him what his sugar count was as he reached for a cup of Koolade. He said it was 220 last time he checked--last week. He says he doesn’t check it often because it's frustrating since it's always around the same number. I pushed a bit more the next morning. He kinda snapped at me so I let it go. He called me at work to apologize and try to explain that he doesn’t need meds and has got it under control; DON’T WORRY. Under control is always "above" what it should be - for years?! No way. Then he decided to go to the gym, which is good because he hasn't been there in months since his feet hurt. They're better now, he says.

He is so against taking meds b/c of their effects on the kidneys and other organs. I told him diabetes will do that and more if we don't get a handle on it. He said drug companies are getting people hooked so they make money. Be that as it may, but we're not talking about diet pills or something we don’t NEED. He's got his mind set on alternative treatment w/herbs, etcetera but I'm afraid that by the time he figures it out, he'll need insulin. He's convinced that if he goes to the doctor all they want to do is prescribe meds which he doesn’t want. He's never taken any medication for colds or pain.
I think the idea of meds truly scares him.

feels like I'm skiiing uphill...but I'm gonna do my best.

it's hard to realise that your life is going to be controlled by drugs, believe me - maybe if you can find a support group in your area you can get some help yourself as you try to deal with this.

{{{{hugs}}}}}

It is a real double bind as the more you push the more stubborn a guy can get. I would agree that the best thing is to keep bad things out of the house. If he asks then say what your want him to do but try and avoid bringing it up. This is very hard to do when you are wprried but pragmatically it is the best way to get around the denail. As for herbs--what does he imagine the drugs are made out of? If they ahve the same effects they generally have the same side effects except those of drugs are studied and known--those of herbs are not.

When we inherited this house my husband and I found my dads diary. he kept incredicble records of every sugar and how he felt. Two weeks before he died he recorded more than 1 BG reading, he was in the high 240s on average.

When oral medications fail, usually within the 5 year mark, some quicker as mine at the thre eyar mark, doctors simply prescribe more of the medication. the problem is two and three fold.
becaus ethe medication stops working depression sets in as the pateint feels to loose ocntrtol, So basically is become Its not helping why should I continue to watch what I eat and do the things they say when its not helping.
An uinderstanding doctor, or a diabetologist understands that oral meds fail. changing meds also fail because they dont ontrol liek they should. So depression, frustration and anger hit hard.
An understanding doctor woudl explain that this happens and that it is nwo time to get back into control.
Usually they suggest one night in a hospital. A simple stay to see if the insulin shot will help. If it shows a dramatic change in sugar levels then it is suggested that a stay for a day or two longer to get insulin adjusted is needed.
When insulin is intrtoduced ther is a weight that seems to lift, a cloud that seems to pass and a new feeling of being " human" comes over you. I know I was there. I am still there.

With the new once a day shots its easy to be back in control.
But he has to be informed regardless. You could leave a paper with something about it for him to glance at, you can get acopy of any diabetes magazine including some free ones have the literature around. It helps......
Dr. Julia Sherman DN, PhT.